Of Crowns, Showsticks, and Greased Watermelons: Part 3

But my sleep woes would have to wait until after the fair, because Thursday night was the Annual Greased Watermelon Contest. For the heathens among us who don’t know what a greased watermelon race is, let me explain: you take a watermelon covered in vegetable grease and race through an obstacle course in order to beat another team and earn eternal glory. It’s quite simple. I’ve never actually been in the race, but I have always been a rabid supporter of the Beef barn team, perennial favorites and the sworn enemy of the Swine barn team. I’ve never been gutsy enough to try out for the extremely competitive Beef team, but this year I automatically had a spot on the Queen team.

So, Thursday night after the Supreme Showmanship contest the five members of the Queen’s court as well as five other girls who had done the contest with us suited up in our custom “Queen Team” t-shirts with “Greasy for one night only” emblazoned on the back. I’ve got to say, we were pretty hardcore. Kathleen, the 2nd Runner-Up, plays volleyball for St. Mary’s College in South Bend and is viciously competitive when it comes to sports, so she had a pretty rock solid game plan.

1. Don’t stick your butt up when crawling under the straw bales, or you’ll knock the top bale off and you’ll have to go through again.
2. Get a foot in every tire.
3. Go over the first sawhorse, under the second, and over the third. Do it any other way and you’ll lose time.
4. The watermelon is not a baby. Do not hold it like one; you’ll only drop it.
5. Brace the person in front of you so the sheer force of passing off the melon doesn’t topple her over.
And rule number 6:
6. Win win win win win.

We did really well, actually. The team we lost to, Swine, had to beat us to advance to the championship, which they won. And I’m proud to say I was so into the race that I merited several scrapes and bruises on my knees from diving under straw bales.

Of course, when it was over, we couldn’t wash off the dirt and wood shavings and grease in the bathroom or anything – everyone has to go to the washracks in one of the livestock barns.

Posted by Jordan at 8/05/2007 02:44:00 PM